It’s been ages since the last time I wrote something here. I guess I am too lazy to do that. Even now, I think that I still don’t have the energy to do so. I don’t have any specific thing to write so I will talk about Taylor Swift. As we all know, she had just launched a new album called Midnight and it was a ‘bomb’. She is great I know that and that’s why I love her. Yes, I’m her fan. Love Story was the first song of hers I listened to and I fell in love instantly. At the time, my bro played that song on repeated. I tried to find the lyric and memorized it. For the kid version of me, it was beautiful. Perhaps I was 13 years old at that time. Since that, I started to listen to (I bet) almost all of her songs from Taylor Swift Album, Speak Now Album, Fearless Album, and some of her unreleased songs. Yeah, I was crazy about her.

I have been following her for over 10 years. I like her music. I enjoy the rhythm; I can dance and feel happy just by hearing her song even though they were sad songs. I mostly enjoy the bridges' part and yes I love the way she sings. I know that she doesn’t sing like Celine Dion, Whitney Houston, or Adele but her different style of singing is the one that I like. To be frank, once I ever said to a friend that the way she sings is way like ‘mblekenyek’, like she doesn’t care about the technique or aesthetic-ness (?) but she still hits them! Try to listen at some of her songs, probably half of you will understand it. She takes a breath too obvious in the middle, she sometimes ‘forcefully’ an unfitted lyric to be fitted. But still. I am fan of her masterpiece. 

(not a) Lavender Haze

I was too obvious that I like her country album. I played them on repeat. When her 1989 and Red albums was released, I didn’t really like it and only listened to my favorite like Style and Red. After that, I hadn’t followed her more albums and songs and just kept playing her county songs. So yeah, you guys right: I don’t know her Lover and Folklore album a lot (did she release another album?). A missing link between them I know haha. Long short story, the Midnight Album was out, and my twitter timeline was filled by hers. So here I’m: listen to Anti-Hero, Lavender Haze, and Bejeweled. Hahaha! <3 <3 <3

Vibing with Taylor

The older I’m, the more I like her pop songs. Weeks ago I watched her 1989 documentary concert and I now I listen to almost all of her 1989 songs. Hahaha. I wonder why and I come up with an untested hypothesis that I become more relate with her pop songs as I’m getting older. Her country songs were released in the early phase of her career and quite young so I think that’s why I used to prefer her songs way back then. Now, I’m 25 already. I enjoy all of her masterpiece I guess, both country and pop genres.

I used to listen to her songs without paying attention to the lyric so much. And nowadays, I find that I like it and often getting enchanted by the lyrics. I don’t know why but probably my listening skill is getting better these days LMAO. Should I put my favorite lyrics? Well I think I shouldn’t, should I?

So yeah! Are you her fan of one of her loyal listener, guys? Think we can get a long!  

Love,

A Swifties

Disclaimer: I will use informal writing style so don't be surprissed. 

This year, I am officially turning 25. Waktu berlalu begitu cepet. Jujur aja, aku ngerasa kalau aku masih 21 atau 22 tahun. Masih ‘muda’ banget. Hahaha aku sebenernya nggak tahu mau nulis apa tapi deep down inside my heart, aku pengen banget ngeluarin uneg-uneg yang ada di kepala. Selama ini aku cuma mikirin di kepala doang atau kalau engga ya ngobrolin sama Dimas kalau engga Viki, temen-temen online aku. So yeah… I just wanna record it so I will have a documentation regarding ‘this’ thought. I will probably find it cringey in few years later. Or maybe funny? Well, idk.

As I’m getting older, I find that this world is totally unfair. Hidup juga ‘aneh’ dan kadang kala kerasa kaya ‘komedi’. Masih inget ga sih waktu kita kecil dulu? Kalau aku flashback, waktu kecil dulu aku mikirnya bahwa usia 25 aku udah bakalan settled, dalam artian udah punya pekerjaan yang mapan, situasi finansial juga udah stabil, udah bisa punya rumah sendiri, dan menikah di usia 25 tahun! And here I am right now! Have just graduated last month, haven’t starting a job, still haven’t any plan to have a house and single! Jangankan nikah, mikirin pacaran aja rasanya males. Tbh it was hilarious and a bit shameful. Pengen ngetawain the lil version of me for real! Dan sekarang di usia aku yang udah 25 ini, aku cuma pengen bisa sekolah dan belajar lagi serta melihat dunia lebih luas. Semoga aku bisa membawa cita-cita itu sampai aku mati sekaligus tetap berusaha bermanfaat dan berbuat baik bagi sesama. Amiin.

Wait… does it sound funny? Or pathetic? Feels like kita tumbuh dengan keyakinan bahwa hidup itu seindah film-film Disney yang kita tonton atau dongeng-dongeng yang kita baca maupun dengar di waktu kecil. Nahas, ternyata realita berkata sebaliknya alias zonk. Tapi ya begitulah realita hidup. But still, we can still find a little and simple pleasure and happiness in between.

Ngomongin tentang perubahan, lihat mana yang berbeda dari ‘aku yang dulu’ dan ‘aku yang sekarang.’ Dulu, aku adalah anak yang paling nggak suka buat tidur siang. Now, I think I would love to do it! Dulu aku pengen jadi ibu rumah tangga, sekarang aku juga pengen berkarir. Dulu aku terobsesi menjadi ‘istri patuh yang baik’ (aku kasih tanda petik, you know what I mean), sekarang aku sedikit-sedikit tertarik pada isu kesetaraan gender. Dulu pengen tinggal di kota, sekarang lebih pengen berkesempatan untuk tinggal di desa. Dulu sewaktu kecil rasanya aku lebih tahu sama apa yang aku mau, sekarang pas udah gedhe malah bingung mau ngapain. Hahaha. Ofc there are some things that don’t change but mostly do. Inilah efek dari bertambahnya usia. Makin hari, makin bertambah kesempatan melihat dan ‘mengecap’ asam, manis, asin, getir, dan pahitnya dunia.

Yaudah.

Gitu doang?

Hahaha iya! Kan aku sebenernya bingung apa poin dari tulisan ini. Struktur ga jelas, poin yang disampaikan juga ga jelas. But here it is… I know it may be a silly post but it’s actually a collection of deep conversations that I have been talked to few friends and I wanna put it here so someday I can look back and recall it.

As we are getting older, we will find that what we have done or thought previously hilarious or cringe or shameful. But that’s life. Taylor Swift says that we have to be friend with cringe-ness.

“Learn to live alongside cringe. No matter how hard you try to avoid being cringe, you will look back on your life and cringe restropectively. Cringe is unavoidable over a lifetime.” (Taylor Swift, 2022)

Remember that.  

Love, 

A person who is trying to navigate her life

a     n  o  t  e  : 

Bertambahnya usia juga berarti bertambahnya pengalaman dan pengetahuan yang aku dapet. Dua hal tersebut berperan penting dalam meramu ‘gimana cara aku memandang atau menghadapi sesuatu.’ Jadi, tentu aja perspektif aku tentang suatu hal sekarang ini bisa aja berbeda dari yang dulu maupun suatu saat nanti. Oleh karenanya aku ngerasa bahwa sebetulnya aku nggak perlu malu sama how did I view a thing karena ya kondisi berbeda dan berubah, exposure kita akan sesuatu juga bertambah, kita bertemu orang yang berbeda pula, situasi yang kita temui begitu berbeda, atau mungkin kita juga membaca buku yang berbeda? Anything is possible but satu hal yang pasti yakni semua berubah as well as ours idea and perspective. Berubah nggak selamanya sesuatu yang buruk, kan? Hahaha idk why I’m talking about this but what I‘m trying to say and pointing out is that aku mau aku nggak malu buat ngomongin tentang aku yang sekarang; perspektif aku yang berbeda dengan perspektif aku di masa lalu maupun masa yang akan datang, tentang keadaan aku yang nggak seperti apa yang aku harapkan dulu, dan semuanya. Dengan tulisan ini, aku juga pengen aku di masa depan juga nggak malu sama apa yang aku omongin sekarang because we are growing. You know what guys? I tell you something; tell other people about what you wish requires a lot of courage. And I do appreciate people who do so. They are so brave, I am a coward but I try to become one of ‘em.

 Happy birthday!